Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
