you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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