office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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