you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
