What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i black out too much to be "responsible"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
