I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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