If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
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just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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