Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize