Swine flu. Run for my life!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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