is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
