i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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