hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish you could order shots online.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
