Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
