i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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