I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
