I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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