what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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