dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
