ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
