Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize