allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
