he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
