But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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