Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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