Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
