used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
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When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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