Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
