I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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