Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i think i just lost a toe
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