The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
