I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
