At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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