Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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