Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My pussy is not your playground.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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