i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
