ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
