my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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