There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
