well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
jump out the window naked night went bad
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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