then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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