well you can't waste a boner
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
