im six kinds of drunk right now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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