i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize