All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
