I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i drank out of a bidet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
