he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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