my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
