Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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