hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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