seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
