Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
