I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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