My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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