i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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