ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize