bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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