Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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