plz talk dirty to me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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