i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
