Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
