I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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