I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
