So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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