dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
